I think I’m late by a month or two, but here are three (Chinese) New Year resolutions that I should make and likely keep:
- I’ll be the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet. No really, I will be as nice to you as long as you aren’t an asshole yourself. (See point 2)
- I’ll will be extremely gentle and use vulgarities in a very civil tone. You won’t find me shouting insults around, I’ll just sneak them in gently into the general conversation:
“Hey there, I hope you’re doing good. What’s an asshole like you doing today for lunch?” - I’ll also promise to elbow slap any idiots that continue to block my out of the MRT, and to also nicely ask folks to stick to the f**king right of the escalators at all times.
If you’re wondering what this is all about – it’s to do with the my Low Idiot Tolerance factor. Someone must have recently pissed me off. Grrrr.